tho im too lazy to come out with good title..

i found this comment in my friends blog. who ever the commenter, sorry i borrow urs tho i think id be agree with your thought.. it suits my current situation very well.

1. people start to write in blog because they wanna publish their writing. thats the major reason. if they wanna private it, they'd go to online diary instead. why are you publishing your post? why are you blogging in the first place?

2. people believe that their blog are theirs so they can write everything they want. even if the post will hurt someone, they would never want to care for it. because, its their blog. so do they care? so thats the risk the readers should face. because the readers are the ones who decides to read or not to read it.

3. sometimes some people use a blog as their diary or a medium to express their feeling because they cant do it publicly, so as they get mad, they might write something awful which sometimes they didnt really intend to say it.

4. sometimes people write it in their blog because they believe that no ones will read it so they just write according to his/her wishes. and suddenly referred people read it. so its just like, uve find his/her diary and uve read it accidently..

5. sometimes, people just have their blog to throw out everything that block his/her heart. and he/she has no one to share the sadness. so, thats it. thanks to blog. that kinda people dont turn crazy keeping his/her sadness by himself/herself.

6. people has their own believes too. as you have your own way to express your emotion, he/she has their own way too. and that doesnt mean the both ways are the right ways. maybe the both ways are the worse ever.

7. people still care about everyone around them if they are not stating the exact name of people who hurts them. what if they state it? would the situation be worsen?

;)

im back =)

actually belum habis rajuknya cik hazrini ni tapi there are requests by some people and kakak2 blogger yg cantik dan baik sgt i heart them.. they know who they are ;)

im going to write randomly..

1. well scheduled or 'well' sceduled? minggu ni and next week will be exhausted sbb on 29/5 saya akan turun shah alam, because on the 30/5 is my sis's convocation. after that we will go straight to kuantan because on 31/5, majlis akad nikah abg saya. on 1/6 adalah kenduri belah pengantin pompuan kat kuantan. balik terus malam tu and get prepared for majlis menyambut menantu on 6/6.. sila2 sapa nk datang =)

2. so, reading the above paraghraph i feel awkward and cold.. have i lost my writing skill? chey. aku ada ke writing skill?

3. baru lepas pindah2 barang ke dapur baru. abah is always excited bila nk sambut menantu baru dan dia dah perbesaq dapuq.. so all this time since im at home, i live in dust. the dust is everywhere coz we just cant control it. saya sgt la alah pada habuk tambah pulak ada sinus kan. sangat benci tapi sbb tanak digelar penyegan, terpaksa la jgk tolong2 kemas..

org kedah (menurut ijal) cakap penyegan tu maksudnya pemalas. tp penyegan bagi kami (dlm family la. kalau org lain tatau plak. tak penah dgr member2 klantan yg lain pkai term tu..) maksud dia, penggeli / pembersih. emm mcm tu lah.. cthnya, tak leh jalan atas habuk ckt dh naik bulu roma sbb geli.

4. kenapa saya suka tulis luahan hati dlm blog saya?

- sbb logiknya, bila kita disakiti oleh si A, sepatutnyalah kita mengadu dengan org yg kenal si A. betul x? kalau x, jenuh nak cerita dari A sampai Z. sbb tak de tmpat mengadulah, i turn to my blog. tak payah explain byk2, just cakap je sakit apa, kenapa sakit dan tak payah susah2 nk mention sapa si A yg sebenarnya.

- dan sepatutnya kalau sy mengadu dgn sesiapa yg mengenali si A, saya sudah, dengan terang2nya memburukkan si A tu di mata kawan tu. kalau la kawan tu lagi baik dgn saya dari si A, ini akan memusnahkan lg bonding antara si kawan tu dgn si A semata2 tumpang sakit hati dengan kisah saya..

- sebab saya bodoh yg amat. lepas dh banyak kali kena tikam belakang, adalah lebih baik saya berhati-hati dengan orang di sekeliling saya. ye tak? tapi saya masih percaya yang tak semua orang dalam dunia ni, tak bleh dipercayai..

- ask yourself. orang mudah mengatakan kalau kita sakit hati, you should just tell him/her face to face. JANGAN TAKUT. and tak payah lah nak cari publisiti murahan dengan mem-publish-kan semua kesakitan dalam blog. misalnya saya terasa hati dengan A, A cerita dekat kawan dia, saya cerita kat blog saya. so sapa pengecut kat sini? both kan? saya mengaku saya pengecut sbb saya tak berani untuk even menegur ketidakpuasan hati saya dengan orang di sekeliling saya. pengecut dan sangat nak menjaga hati orang lain. walaupun dlm usaha2 tu ada jugak failure nya. banyak makan dalam sbb simpan sorang2. tapi tu lah, some people think they are perfect when we dont even complain abt them.

- i did it for years. pada sapa saya turn to bila tak ada orang sekeliling saya. my blog. before this kan, tak de sapa pun nak complain pasal ni...

5. reminder for the readers. note that im just a normal person. ada buruk ada baiknya. malah saya sendiri rasakan yg saya ni lebih banyak buruknya dari baiknya. people, tak semua orang suka kita. dan tak semua orang kita suka. so, accept the fact can u? dan saya jugak dah lama redha since the first sem saya kat sini. for the things that had happened, i learned a lot. saya terima sesiapa yg nak berkawan dengan saya. dan saya redha kalau sesiapa yang dah tak nak kawan dengan saya. remember, i came alone.. think deep. thats why sometimes i am just too cold and dont really mix with people around me..

6. this post will be too cold. sorry. emo xhabeh2..

7. hari2 bersama anak saya yg comel itu, membuatkan saya jarang2 sangat laaaa ingat kat stone cold dan si cinta baru itu yg saya tau takkan kesampaian. haha.. tp memenatkan sikit dua tiga hari ni sbb dia tak sihat. tau tak betapa laranya hatiku tgk dia demam mcm tu. lepas tu pandai plak cakap, "kakak demam. penat. lenguh2.." dalam pelat dia tu.. lepas sehari jaga dia demam, saya pulak yang kena tempias. tapi terpaksa buat2 tak demam.. dah baik dah hari ni..

8. nape la rasa bahasa macam skema eh?? abaikan yer..

9. terima kasih kpd yg membaca walaupun saya rasa blog saya adalah sangat boring.

;)

suram..

i dont feel like blogging anymore...

until next time..

desa tercinta.......

burung yang berkicauan...

air mengalir tenang...
sejuk mata memandang..
damai mempersonakan..

padi melambai-lambai...

gadis di tepi bendang..
walau panas membahang..
tetap manis tersenyum riang....

ke kirilah..
ahai...
ke kananlah..
ahai...

inilah,
desa yang tercinta...
ahaii..



menarilah..
ahai...
menyanyilah..
ahai..

riangnya..
suara mereka..
di desa,


tercinta........

lol =)

kerana sangat boring dan tatau nak tulis apa, saya nak langsaikan hutang tag saya..

boring kerana baby izreen kat rumah nenek dia lagi sebelah. hehe.

tagged by izzah.

1. adakah anda rasa hot?
--> hot? kenapakah perlu ada soalan macam ni? kalau saya kata saya rasa saya hot, nanti ada pulak yang cakap saya perasan.. hehe. tak. saya tak rasa saya perlu rasa hot atau berkelihatan hot. sebab saya kat rumah je pun. bantai t-shirt lusuh ngan kain batik sarung je. very the kampung2 girl..

2. upload gambar kegemaran anda.
-->

ambik!!

3. Kenapa anda suka gambar ini?
--> tak gheti2 lagi kenapa?? =p

4. Bila kali terakhir makan pizza?
--> kalau 10 tahun dulu kenapa? nak belanja saya?? hehe. ada la awal2 semester ni. pegi makan ngan cik.

5. Lagu terakhir yg anda dengar.
--> Flora cinta - Min Malik. tapi dengar yg versi aishah af punya. budak ni cute. i like..

6. Apa yg anda buat selain buat tag ni?
--> buat marathon filem2 n drama2 korea. juga drama cinta gila.

7. Selain nama anda sendiri, apakah lagi nama yang anda suka orang panggil anda?
--> kadang2 orang panggil saya SALMA HAYEK. orang gila pun suka orang panggil dia salma hayek apatah lagi saya. kadang2 ada jugak orang panggil saya ekin. ekin bini mawi tu.. kadang2 orang panggil saya miss world.

muahahahaha.

tade lah. saya suka orang panggil saya 'cahaya'. ada certain people yg still pggil saya cahaya..

8. Tag lagi lima orang.
--> kak bunga.
--> kak farah.
--> lyna.
--> timmy.
--> redza. (saja. saya tau dia takkan buat punya sebab tu saya tag dia.. dah tatau nk tag sapa. hehehe. dia pun tak baca blog saya kottt..)

9. Siapa nombor 1.
--> kakak yg baik dan sangat ceria juga sangat baik. juga baik lagi cantik dan cun juga menawan and gorgeous lagi happy-go-lucky.

10. Siapakah nombor 2.
--> kakak yang baik juga jauh berada nun di auckland. juga lagi cantik dan cun dan gorgeous.

11. Orang no 3 ada hubungan dengan sesiapa?
--> tatau la saya. ada kot mamat2 hindustan mana.. haha. =p

12. Bagaimana pulak dengan orang number 4?
--> she's fun. saya suka gaya dia gelak sebab dia ada gaya gelak yg boleh membawak orang gelak sesama dengan hanya mendengar dia gelak. hehehe. baik of course..

13. katakan sesuatu berkenaan orang num 5.
--> dah dekat 3 tahun dah tak jumpa dan tak rasa akan jumpa lagi, hensem, mata brown, tinggi, pakej yg cukup lengkap.

..........

tagged by kak bunga =)




1. Copy badge "2009 cute blogger award" di atas untuk diletakkan di blog anda.
--> terima kasih daun keladi.....

2. Link / ceritakan kembali siapa yg memberikan award ini kepada anda.
--> kak bunga. blogger buddy yg sangat baik dan cantik. i jeles you.. lupa dah macamana boleh kenal dia. hehehe.

3. Setiap blogger mesti menyatakan 10 fakta/hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award seterusnya.

-->1. hobi paling hobi, tidur. hehehehehe.
-->2. online.
-->3. tak boleh duduk sopan2 kalau dalam keta. suka bukak selipar/kasut lepas tu bersila.
-->4. suka tengok drama2 korea. tengah belajar bahasa korea.
-->5. sangat sayang anak sedara saya.
-->6. sangat pemalas kalau dah kat rumah. pemalas tak agak.. (mengaku je lahhh..)
-->7. tak suka orang yg rasa dia sentiasa betul dan mentah2 tolak idea orang lain.
-->8. saya pencinta kedamaian. tak boleh kalau orang buat keja bunyi kuat2 atau bising sangat.
-->9. pantang orang usik emosi saya time saya mengantuk/orang ganggu saya tido. terus nak melenting tak tentu pasal.
-->10. suka kalau orang bawak saya jalan2 naik keta. especially kalau time2 tensyen. tapi setakat ni tak pernah ada orang bawak. hehehe. kalau tensyen naik bas je lah. bas rapid kan bayar tambang sekali jer. pas tu kau naik la nak naik berapa kali pon. round la kau sepuas hati tak de orang kacau..

4. Enam orang penerima award seterusnya?
- izzah.
- otai.
- lyna.
- kak farah.
- dayana.
- reef.

sekian wassalam. nak pegi mannnn.. =p

random - edited

1. i think i like this kind of writing for that i can write anything in one post.

2. just finish the 2nd last paper. law. no comment. law paper. what do you expect?

3. upon request by miss president, lyna, (miss president? wow. thats nice. she's the president of acb 5d btw. lyna, terimalah gelaran baru anda.. hehe) dia telah menyuruh saya 'mengutuk' sir iz-iz kerana tidak meluluskan saya for if saya dah lulus, saya dah tak payah sit for the exam tadi. (hehehe. tak de la jugak. manusia mana plak yang aim lulus je..) sebab sir iz-iz pegang 60 percent of the full mark - and the 60% is the carry mark. oke im not clever la. i know i didnt perform in the 1st test. though looking at sir iz-iz face at that time made my brain ran blank. so sue him! seriously tak tipu. tengok muka dia, habeh terbang segala nota yg aku hafal.

tak tau. kau jangan tanya kenapa..

he also gave me great high voltage of electric shock when he took my newspaper in my laci which made me putus jalan ke arah pemikiran yang jitu untuk menjawab test hari tu kerana sangat terkejut. ingat la kot2 ada nota yg tak tersimpan ke. terkejut badak aku. sir iz-iz is the most slumbest lecturer i ever had. tobat sangat slumber tak agak..

or thats the price i should pay for mengumpat dia dan mendoakan ketidaksihatan dia masa dia demam hari tu. so sue me! hehe. tak mengumpat la sir. memuji. sgt adore his achievement..
tak mendoakan jugak. silent wish aje semata2 nak postpone test..tapi lepas tu sumpah menyesal dan giler rasa bersalah. ohoooo. mohon diampun..

eh, dia baca blog aku ke hah? ada sapa2 bocor rahsia ehhh???

but then btw, ok la. tak de la teruk pun. ok je. tapi frust la jugak lima minit semalam. sempat la nangis dua titik air mata sebab sebelum tu dah frust ngan paper far (financial) tapi ke-frust-an ngan paper far tak ternangis. still bleh sabar tapi bila two hard things came at the same time to deal with, memang tak tertahan jgk. though semalam sangat tensyen sebab nak kena habiskan hafal law.

tapi dalam hati tu ada la jugak rasa........................

ralat.. <---- (mode jauh hati...)

so law? okey kot dari far. hope there'll be no more companies act. tanak dah belajar law. serender. macamana la sir iz-iz bleh amik law sampai macam tu sekali. tabik spring!

okey guys, this is sir iz-iz which i bobokkan selama ini.. the one that holds the baby.
p/s : without permission. harap sir iz-iz yg hensem ini tidak sue me.. hehe.
(bodek!!)
i like this photo. i like the baby.. i like seeing people dealing with babies..

appreciation : thanks to sir iz-iz. he made things easier. kalau tak, mampus nak pass paper law..
sir iz-iz, you helped a lot...thanks sooo much =)

4. oke. this is scary. who paid my college fee please raise up your hand. i wanna give back your money.. the thing is that, i got a memo from the management abt three days ago kot, claiming me to meet this someone. i thought it was because of the problem that arose in my bills which happened to be generated two times. the first bill isn't paid yet, but the second has been paid. sapa bayar? dont know.

mulanya, masa mula2 masuk kolej dulu, saya daftar dan generate bil. so bil yg dah di generated tu didnt appear in my student's bill which membuatkan saya tak bleh nak bayar bil. saya ulang alik pegi atm nak bayar bil kolej tu tapi bil tu tak ada dalam akaun saya. so, saya bayar manually to the management and they will then pay it. lepas tu i thought the thing has been settled la kan. even ive check that another bill, which is the same bill appears in my student's bill which have to be canceled. maybe they've generated another one because of the disappearance of the first generated bill.

saya ingatkan saya dapat memo sebab the first bill yg belum di bayar tu. so saya pegi la jumpa that someone and she wanted to give my money back on the ground that ive paid the bill. (ground = effect kepada lepas jawab paper law..) so got it tak? i didnt pay the bill. neither the management. orang tu cakap when they tried to pay, bank tendang. (dasyat bank ni boleh main tendang2..) so who paid ni?

i didnt accept the money anyway. its not mine. sapa la manyak baik ati ni..

5. i love to create my own version in calling people. macam 'sir iz-iz'. i gave liyana the new title 'miss president' hehe. i even call my little sister with lots of nick names. sometimes i call her 'siti'. i like to call her siti la btw. walaupun kitorang N siblings kan. the female have nur and the male have khairul. so i call my siblings the KN siblings. hehe. with the not-so-new family members which dazzling up our life, izuani, my kakak ipar and my niece of course her baby, izreen qistiena.. nanti nak tambah lagi sorang family member on 2nd jun ni..

sometimes i call my little sister misha omar or siti nurhaliza. even jaclyn victor. i even call my niece, irina qistinaini.. <-- tu time memang kepala sangat gila la tu..

yes, im the clown in the family. i love to make jokes. im a kepochi and im the one who is very gila la boleh dikatakan. i love to make jokes la. i love seeing them laugh so that i can laugh too. and when i laugh, i can hardly stop and drag drag drag it..

ok la. i love to create my own version of name to call people.. i even called this one guy who always absent, aqram as iqram dinzly. or when people describe him as mia=missing in action, i describe mia as 'master in absence'. dah tu dalam seminggu dua tiga kali je kot aku tengok muka dia dalam kelas. sometimes, when he suddenly appeared in the class, cik and me akan berpandangan sama sendiri dan kitorang akan cakap,

"laaaa, hidup lagi rupanya budak master ni..!"

anyway, dia memang master. tuang kelas pun bleh survive sampai tahap ni..

6. my friends said they love to read my writing. they said 'jini you can write la..'. yer la tuh. friends, i suggest you to read these blog if you are new and you will come to the distinction of people who can write and people who 'can' write..

- crookedlittlemind.blogspot.com - love this. this kakak really has giler2 punya otak. i like..

- gampangsolo.blogspot.com - okee. this one is for those who has seni2 tahap paling halus punya. i sendiri sometimes dont understand what he wrote tapi tak pe la kan. i still like... i kan ada crushy mushy lovey dovey bubbly lullaby thingy thingy towards him. adik dia pun dah janji nak adjustkan i untuk abang dia.. haha. kak dalie, dont take this seriously. jini gurau jek. or else kak dira will cekik me to death!

- ketokurokuning.blogspot.com - sapa2 mengaku org kelantan kena baca blog ni. hehe.

- 13may.blogspot.com

7. tak sabar nak balik kelate... rindu izreen. selalu je gelak sorang2 kalau ingat dia. dia sangat indescribable..

8. on the previous post i said i sangat sebak tatau kenapa. tau kenapa? lepas balik bilik hari tu dalam kul 10.30 malam kot, saya bukak balik album lama ni. which stored lots of kenangan sekolah menengah. lepas tu i passed through this one photo, gambar arwah kawan baik saya. mula2 tu senyum ingat zaman dulu yg sangat gila2. dan lepas tu terus nangis. though kalau ingatkan dia, saya takkan maafkan diri saya sampai mati.

ralat..

sebab im the best friend but i was the only one yang tak sempat tengok dia for the last time.. dan tatau pun dia dah takde. tau2 pun the next day bila pegi skolah. bila dah tau tu memang seharian nangis kat sekolah. nasib baik hari tu ada program kat sekolah so, the whole day i nangis tak berhenti. bila teringatkan dia, memang hal tu akan buatkan saya sedih..

dan memang patut saya sebak tak bersebab macam saya cakap dalam previous post hari tu. sebab malam tu 26th dan bila saya sms kawan lama yg sorang ni dan cakap saya teringat arwah nik, dia cakap ;

"inie cakap2 pasal arwah nik, esok genap 4 tahun dia takde!!"

so, memang saya nangis sakan la hari tu. sampai pukul 1 pagi still tak reda. regret sangat.

she passed away on 27th april 2005. and i dont know why i never get to remember the date. maybe sebab saya pun tak diberi chance nak jumpa dia saat akhir. they said they tried to call me tapi tak dapat. memang pun sebab i set my phone to silent mode sebab sangat penat baru balik tusyen. tak nak diganggu..

she suffered leukimia. sangat seksa tengok dia kat hospital. leher dia kena tebuk dan ada wayar sambung kat situ. dada dia pun kena tebuk..

tak sangka dia nak pegi. tak ready pun dia nak pegi walaupun kita slow2 tau yang dia akan pegi tapi dia pegi jugak dan drastik sangat.. sebab doktor cakap she could last until 18th. and even that, we never wanted to believe that she'll leave us.

masa form 3 dulu, time2 berkepit dengan dia, kalau time2 tensyen tak boleh nak terima, saya selalu cakap "nik, jini nak mati la. jini mati dulu yer.." dan she replied, "tak. nik yang mati dulu!"

kalau ingat balik, benda tu memang macam petunjuk..

al-fatihah..

9. wanna get ready for the last paper. and after that boleh pack barang. hehehe.


..........

dah tak de dah. dah habeh idea dah..

one more paper to go..

lyna, apa lagi. komennn... hehehe..

p/ss : mind the grammar. hehe..